


And I'm Forever a Mess

by Possiblyenjoyable



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (2010)
Genre: Bonding, Cuddling, Fluff, Mother-Son Relationship, Other, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, but i think that's a given, hiccup has anxiety, lots of drabbles, no this is not a bestiality fic calm down
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-17
Updated: 2014-06-23
Packaged: 2018-02-05 00:22:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1798714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Possiblyenjoyable/pseuds/Possiblyenjoyable
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of drabbles where, more often than not, Hiccup has anxiety and the people and dragons around him are there to help him through it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. And I'm Forever a Mess

**Author's Note:**

> This is dumb. I'm dumb. All I want is for Hiccup and Toothless to cuddle all the time because they're best friends and nothing makes me happier than that.

He can't get one good night of sleep during the time that he's training Toothless. He's convinced that from the moment he shot the dragon down right up until this moment, he's been having one long anxiety attack. Little panic attacks come in between every now and then, whether they be from his dad getting on his case about anything and everything or from the other vikings in training picking on him and Astrid getting angry with him all the time or the fact that he's visiting a freaking  _dragon_  behind all of their backs, they're happening and he doesn't have any idea what to do about them.

So on some nights when he couldn't sleep and he could feel his chest starting to ache and his breathing speeding up at just the mere thought of someone finding out about Toothless and taking him away - or worse, killing him - he would roll out of bed and dash quietly out of the village and through the forest back to the cove. Toothless would always wake up for him, especially if he could sense that something was wrong.

He'd done this a few times before. He'd come running to the cove on the verge of having a panic attack and do exactly what he's doing right now, stumbling in with blurry vision because of the tears that keep building up and how weak his knees have gotten. Toothless is there in a second, his large head bumping against Hiccup's midsection. 

"Hey, bud," Hiccup says, scratching his nails up and down Toothless' neck and furrowing his brow and squeezing his eyes shut, ashamed by the pathetic sob that escapes his throat. "Sorry to wake you up." He croaks out the words and Toothless gently pulls back to look at him in confusion.

Hiccup gives a weak laugh and tells the Night Fury that he just couldn't sleep and that's all, and that maybe he's a little bit worried about this entire situation and okay yeah so he's freaking out and Toothless probably doesn't understand a word of this.

"I don't know, bud, I just- Toothless?" Hiccup sniffles, watching with a baffled expression as Toothless moves a few feet away from him and then plops down on the ground on his back with his wings stretched out beneath him. He turns his head in Hiccup's direction and makes a "come over here" gesture with it and this is another one of those times where Hiccup just cannot believe how smart dragons are.

"What do you want?" Hiccup wipes his face with his sleeves, swallowing thickly and trying to ignore the burning of his eyes thanks to his crying and the oncoming headache. He approaches Toothless with a furrowed brow and when he gets close enough, Toothless uses his wing to scoop him up and bring him in to his side. Hiccup gives a yelp of protest at being knocked off his feet so suddenly, but as soon as he realizes he's only being cuddled by his dragon friend, he relaxes and turns in to the warm, scaly body. He wonders why Toothless has decided to offer this as comfort when he hasn't the last times he's been here while having an attack. His breathing's evening out, his chest isn't hurting so much anymore, his eyelids are getting heavier and heavier and all he can think about is how comfortable this is.

It's much better than sleeping on a wooden platform for a bed.

* * *

 

It becomes a regular thing after that. Hiccup goes to the cove when he's having an attack as usual, but now, Toothless makes sure to offer comfort to the tired boy. His father thinks that he's simply up doing some early morning training when he finds his bed empty upon waking up. Even after they battle the Green Death and their village is united with dragons, Hiccup still finds himself rolling off his bed late at night and stumbling around for his best friend. And Toothless is always there. He's a constant in his life now, just like Astrid is and just like the other vikings in training are. It's not what he would have wanted at the beginning of all this, but it's so much better than he expected.


	2. Terrible Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since the battle with the former Alpha, Hiccup's been under a lot of stress. Valka only wants to help him get through it.
> 
> Literally this is just an excuse for me to write some mother-son bonding stuff because I eat that up.

It’s not the first time this has happened. It’s actually occurred quite a few times since Valka became a member of the Hairy Hooligans of Berk once again. She was afraid - oh, gods, was she ever afraid - that her son would become distant almost immediately after the battle with the former Alpha. She prepared herself for it, however, reminding herself that Hiccup was the new chief and it was only to be expected that he wouldn’t have much time for a lot of things anymore. Hel, he didn’t even have as much time for riding Toothless as he used to.

But the funny thing is, that didn’t happen.

It’s only been two months since it all began and Hiccup isn’t distant. While he may not be able to take Toothless out flying as much and while he does have an overwhelming amount of tasks to take care of as chief, he still manages to put aside a ridiculous length of time for his family and friends.

Astrid voiced to Hiccup’s mother that she was more than glad that his position as Berk’s chief didn’t hinder him from spending time with her, too. Even if spending time with him means assisting him every now and then. Valka does the same and while she worries that perhaps she’s pestering Hiccup, he never tells her that she is. In fact, sometimes she catches a hint of a grateful smile on her son’s face when he thinks that no one is looking.

Of course, there are downsides that she sees thanks to him not being distant. He goes to Toothless when he’s having panic attacks most of the time. He goes to Astrid when he has a question about something he believes is a life-or-death situation. And he goes to his mother when he misses her.

He misses her a lot.

He doesn’t go to these figures just for these reasons specifically. He goes to them because he loves them and simply wants to spend time with them as well. Valka was unaware that Hiccup would be so open with her about his thoughts and emotions and sometimes she can feel her heart shattering into little tiny pieces because she constantly realizes that he could have been doing this with her for twenty years if she hadn’t disappeared. It’s almost more than she can bear.

“I’ll swim and sail on savage seas…”

She can’t get the words out without feeling her throat constrict. But that’s okay, considering the fact that she can hear soft footsteps making their way down the stairs and that can’t be anyone but Hiccup. He’s bleary-eyed and absolutely exhausted and he looks like he needs to sleep for a few thousand years, in her humble opinion. “Hiccup,” she says quietly from her spot on the sofa. She sets down the journal - Hiccup’s journal - that she’d been reading moments ago and keeps her gaze on her son.

“I, uh… I can’t sleep,” he shrugs. “Again.”

Valka offers a sad smile, patting the spot on the sofa next to her. “Neither can I, my love.” Hiccup has a moment of hesitation before he allows himself to sit next to her, but instead of just sitting like she expects him to, he curls his legs up onto the seat and lowers his head so as to rest it on her lap. Valka blinks in surprise. “Are you alright?”

Hiccup sighs. “Yeah, I’m just… tired, y’know?”

Valka runs her fingers through Hiccup’s tangled hair and gently works out all of the knots in it, leaving the braids that Astrid made. She can feel the weight of everything that sits on her son’s shoulders now as he rests his head on her lap. He knows that he has to get used to it and that he’ll eventually become accustomed to the hectic life of a chief, but for now, he’s not sure what to do with himself and he’s not sure how to handle all of this stress. And Valka, Thor bless her soul, wants nothing more than to be there for him alongside Toothless and Astrid.

“I know, dear,” she croons, “I know.”


End file.
